I propped the baby bottle and gave my children formula. I hate throwing kid’s parties. Just the thought of ribbons, presents, and streamers makes my forehead bead with sweat and makes me feel like I’m on the verge of a full-blown anxiety attack.
I breastfed only one of my kids. Didn’t use cloth diapers, didn’t make my own organic baby food and neither one of my kids went to Headstart.
If you have ever thought, “My house doesn’t look like that,” or “My kids don’t get straight A’s” and have wondered “Am I a horrible parent?” Then this post is for you.
Sometimes I question my parenting but mostly I just think having a weird mom builds character. Here are a few things I do as a parent that you may or (may not) find relatable!
My kids eat junk
Not just my kids either I’m a junk foodie too. I give my kids candy, cookies, chips, fruit loops, fried food, and cake. Now that is not to say that my house is a 24 hour, open 7/11. I serve regular “healthy” food too and we even eat the occasional salad but I really don’t care what my kid eats.
I Forget My Kid’s Birth Date
Is this one an absolute shocker to you? Yea, sometimes when taken by surprise and asked what my kid’s birthdate is I have a dumb look on my face and I have to think about it for a few minutes. I obviously know the month and day but it is the year that throws me off occasionally when asked out of the blue, was it 2006 or 2007…? She is 15 and I’m bad at math… Send Help!
I Cuss … Like A Lot..
Yup, I have a dirty sailor mouth and that is no exception in front of my kids. They live with me after all. I will say though that I do not allow my kids to cuss or use foul language. I don’t find it “cute” or “funny”. They have very respectable mouths at least for now. You can call me a hypocrite… it’s fine .. really.
I Don’t Censor Anything
My kids can watch, read, or listen to whatever they want. You might ask so you are gonna let your 6-year-old who really acts like a 3-year-old watch Chucky? The answer: Yea, sure If he wants to he can but I’ll tell you right now he doesn’t. He is afraid of the dark and won’t watch anything scary… lol
Unlimited Screen Time
I don’t care if my kids spend all day in front of a TV or on the computer. My daughter who is 15 has a laptop and my son has a Nintendo Switch and watches TV all day. That being said they also go play outside. My 6-year-old toddler plays in the yard every day while I’m watching TV because he doesn’t want to watch The Kardashians.
My daughter doesn’t play in the yard but she does go swimming with me and to the beach or park. My kids also know they need to do chores otherwise they will not be able to watch anything. I also make sure my teen stays appropriate online because let’s be honest kids are really gross online with each other.
I Do My Kid’s Homework
I’m not even going to try to lie. I do my 15-year-old’s homework, at least a few times a month when she is failing classes, and I also do my 6-year-old’s homework and it absolutely drives my husband crazy so I have to do it behind his back and then say the kids really did it.
With the exception of math because I can’t do Sophmore level math to save my life. I did mention I was bad at math and it’s true. I really am very bad at math.
I Hide Snacks From My Kids
If you don’t do this are you even a parent? I will wait for them to go to bed or I will say “It’s spicy, you won’t like it” to my little and it works like a charm.
Hey, if I just allowed them to go crazy in the kitchen I’d honestly never get any snacks for myself! A girl has to do what a girl has to do.
Hygiene
My kids don’t shower every day and neither do I. I wash my hair about once a week and shower a few times a week the same as my toddler. My teen daughter however showers about twice a day and I have to tell her to cut that shit out or we will go poor. Shit.
My son has even been known to wear the same shirt two days in a row and when it comes to food we practice the 5-second rule in my house.
Reverse | Sweet Things I Do That Let’s My Kid’s Know I Adore Them
- I still pick out my toddlers outfits
- I check in with the mental health of my teenager weekly at least
- I’m very affectionate with my kids, hugs, and kisses all the time
- I still cut up my son’s food
- I tell my kids I love them all of the time
- My kids are respectful
- I set aside time for outdoor activities with my family and kids
That’s all I’ve got right now and I’m sure there is more….probably..
Motherhood has taught me just how lenient I can be and just how far I can let myself go and still be okay with it. I use baby wipes to clean everything and I’m not above putting a margarita in a reusable water bottle to walk my kids to the park.
I’m still a rock star mom and there is no right way or wrong way to be a mother and parent. Each child has different needs and each family does their best to find the best methods. Happy Parenting!! You are doing great!!
Are these parenting methods relatable or are they just crazy?
Support all types of mothers and share this on Pinterest, you yahoos!
I Chug My Wine 